This isn't Wonderland, is it?
by SweetHeartbreaker101
Summary: Alfred is not Alice. Just because he has an older brother, traveled to an alternate universe, and finds the whole situation just ridiculous doesn't mean he is Alice! At least Alice didn't have a bun in her oven!
1. prolugue

**This is a warning in case no one got the hint. There will be M-preg in this story! Also it's an UKUS story, as in England will be seme. **

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me! It never will be! I will write fanfics of them though. **

**Prologue:**

'Alfred'

He can hear him. He reached out his small hand, trying to grab his brother's so they can get ice cream together. His laugh ringed in the younger's ear, giggling while running in front of him. The younger tried to reach for his hand, but he's not getting closer; his brother is getting more farther away now. Desperate, the younger pushed himself to run faster to reach and grab for his hand. To never let go. Ever again. Not ever again-!

He's disappearing! No, wait for me! Don't leave me alone!

'MATTIE!'

"MATTIE!"

Alfred gasped loudly, panting to get air in his aching lungs, and calm his beating heart. The blond sat up, placing one of his trembling hands on his sweating forehead, trying to clear his mind from that horrible dream. That terrifying nightmare of his missing brother. It's been months since the last one, and he really thought that he was finally over his missing brother and the fear of being alone. Of being abandoned by family again.

The poor sleep-deprived blond didn't realized that there was a hand on his naked back, rubbing in a soothing and loving manner, or that the owner of said hand was muttering sweet-nothings in his ear, trying his best to calm his new mate. It wasn't until Alfred felt someone's lips gently kissing on his left temple and purring in a low and quiet tone.

No, seriously. Someone's really purring like a cat and it's on stereo speakers.

The already panicking blond looked to the left, tensing up, getting ready to bolt, and call a cab; but before he could even process of what's going on, the green eyed man already grabbed him, pulled him down to lay his head on the shorter's lap and started to caress his hair, humming a lullaby. At first, Alfred didn't know what to do or how to feel, but then he slowly calmed down. He can feel his eyelids getting heavier and heavier, being lulled back to sleep by the soft raking on his hair, almost missed on what the stranger whispered.

"Go back to sleep, Love. I'm here."

With that, Alfred nuzzled tiredly on his lap pillow and fell asleep. Knowing that he's not alone, at least. Not tonight.


	2. Chapter 1

Alfred trembled, pressed on the wooden headboard, holding a wide body pillow as some sort of shield. He winced when the twinge of pain shot from his lower back, digging the heel of his feet down on the huge bed he's currently curled up on. His wide blue eyes frantically looking for his red framed glasses in a quick moment before he stares back at the stranger. Said stranger glared at him, his massive eyebrows scrunched down harshly, sitting with his legs and arms crossed at the other side of the bed.

This morning was definitely a scary wake up call for Alfred. Half-asleep, he didn't noticed about his unusual pillow or the rough fingers raking through his hair like he was something precious. All he knew was that there was someone with him. At first, he thought it was his older brother, but then he remembered that his brother was missing. So it couldn't be him. Then he thought maybe he shacked up with a girl or something because he couldn't remember about what happened yesterday night. Flashes of colorful lights, hearing laughter, and a certain sweet taste on his tongue was all he could recall.

When he decided to open his eyes and look up, first thing he saw was green. Like a deep forest green color. It was pretty. Then he saw light freckles across the cheeks and bridge of the nose. He didn't miss the hilariously huge eyebrows either. He compared them to fuzzy caterpillars.

Though what made Alfred freeze was not that it was a man he has been sleeping on. Nor was it that he and the stranger are naked, in a bed together. It was the fluffy tiger ears and tail. They could move like it was a functioning body part of the man (Alfred saw the ears flinch down while the tail was waving lazily behind him). He couldn't believe what he was seeing so Alfred thought to just pull the ears. He guessed he pulled too hard because the man roared and pushed him off his lap, yelling why he pulled his ear.

His response?

Alfred screamed, scrambling away from the tiger-hybrid man and slammed his back against the headboard while grabbing a pillow to cover himself. He tried looking for his glasses but that's impossible since he couldn't see far without it. If Alfred was calm, he would have realized how silly it was for an almost blind man search for his glasses.

It didn't help that the stranger was glaring intensely at him. It just made the frightened blond feel like he's prey and ready to tear him into pieces. Maybe the stranger really does want to eat him-!

"Don't eat me please! Just because humans taste like pork doesn't mean I won't give you an upset stomach!"

"What the bloody hell are you on about?"

Alfred can see that the man-tiger hybrid is confused. Good, maybe he could escape- Wait...was that an English accent? That's ...that's unexpected...and really attractive.

'Did I really just think that about someone who's about to eat me?!' Alfred thought, irritated at his own traitorous mind.

"What do you mean 'the bloody hell I'm talking about?' ?! You're gonna eat me! I mean you have tiger ears and a tail and it's real. I mean it's cool that you have that, but I don't want to be dinner! Isn't that why I'm naked?!"

The panicking man didn't see the British tiger hybrid give him a deadpan look, unable to believe that this...idiot is rambling on about his own death...by being his dinner...

Then again, he is correct...in a sense…

'Get your head out of the gutters', he thought to himself before growling at Alfred, shutting him up quickly. Finally having a bit of peace, the green-eyed man breathed in and out, trying to not snap at the already scared man. When he felt that he's calm enough, the tiger hybrid quietly responded.

"Alright, let me explain things: I don't eat humans nor would I ever eat in my bed. We're naked because we slept after a rigorous activity yesterday. Honestly, you are the silliest dame I have ever met and that is saying something because I have met a few before-"

"Wait! Rigorous activity? What rigorous activity?! Is-is that why my back is sore? What the hell did we do yesterday? Why can't I remember it?! ...Did you just call me a dame?! I am no chick, mister-!"

That's when the pair heard a very disturbing and French-y laugh out of the room's door. They stared at the door, one in curiosity and fright, the other in exasperation and annoyance. The owner of said laugh knocked on the door before laughing again.

"_Hon hon hon~!_ Arthur, breakfast is ready and waiting for you and your lover~. I made it with extra _amour_ and _soins_ since you finally-"

"SHUT IT, YOU BLOODY WANKER!"

With another amused laugh, the french (Alfred guessed since he heard french words) male walked away, his shoes clear taps fading. Alfred heard the other male sighing, muttering about 'Damned foxes' and 'Bloody annoying'. Though, the blond didn't think he did anything to annoy Arthur...then again, he did remember the stupid stereotype about the British and the French hating each other...which didn't make sense either.

"Now then, since the bloody idiot decided to remind our stomachs, I believe we should eat breakfast, yes?"

Alfred was about to ask what he was talking about until he felt his stomach growling in hunger.

Oh...Well, breakfast is important! First thing's first though…

"Um...can I have my clothes back? Or anything to wear? I don't want to be naked anymore."


End file.
